When parents separate, one of the biggest concerns is how much time each parent will get with the children. Often, the focus immediately turns to quantity—the number of days, hours, or overnights assigned to each parent. And while time does matter, quality of that time can be even more impactful.
Quantity Time
This refers to the amount of time a parent spends with their child. More time can allow for routines, consistency, and involvement in everyday life—school runs, bedtime stories, meals, and so on. It can create a sense of stability and presence, which is especially important during a transitional period like divorce.
However, quantity alone doesn’t guarantee a healthy relationship. A parent could be present often but emotionally disconnected, distracted, or even hostile—causing more harm than good.
Quality Time
Quality is about how meaningful and emotionally connected that time is. It means being truly present—listening, playing, talking, teaching, and showing love and support. Even short, focused interactions where the child feels seen, heard, and valued can have a deep, lasting impact on their emotional development and security.
In situations where equal quantity of time isn’t possible—due to work, logistics, or court rulings—quality becomes even more essential. A parent who sees their child for a few hours a week but makes that time safe, loving, and focused can have a far more positive influence than a parent who has more time but offers little emotional engagement.
Why It Matters in Divorce?
Children don’t just need time, they need connection. Divorce can be confusing and emotional for them, and they look to both parents for reassurance. Prioritising quality of interaction—no matter the custody arrangement—helps them feel secure, loved, and supported.
So while it’s natural to worry about how much time you’re spending with your children after divorce, remember to also focus on how you’re spending that time. It’s the meaningful moments, not just the minutes, that build strong, lasting relationships.