Co-Parenting Tips for Divorced Parents-Making Joint Custody Work After a Divorce

Co-parenting after a split is rarely easy, especially if you have a contentious relationship with your ex-partner. You may be concerned about your ex’s parenting abilities, stressed about child support or other financial issues, feel worn down by conflict, or think you’ll never be able to overcome all the resentments in your relationship. But co-parenting amicably with your ex can give your children the stability, security, and close relationships with both parents they need. For the sake of your kids’ well-being, it is possible for you to overcome co-parenting challenges and develop a cordial working relationship with your ex. With these tips, you can remain calm, stay consistent, and resolve conflicts to make joint custody work and enable your kids to thrive.

What is co-parenting?

Unless your family has faced serious issues such as domestic violence or substance abuse, co-parenting—having both parents play an active role in their children’s daily lives—is the best way to ensure all your kids’ needs are met and they are able to retain close relationships with both parents. Research suggests that the quality of the relationship between co-parents can also have a strong influence on the mental and emotional well-being of children, and the incidence of anxiety and depression. Of course, putting aside relationship issues, especially after an acrimonious split, to co-parent agreeably can be easier said than done.

Joint custody arrangements can be exhausting, infuriating, and fraught with stress. It can be extremely difficult to get past the painful history you may have with your ex and overcome built-up resentments. Making shared decisions, interacting with each another at drop-offs, or just speaking to a person you’d rather forget all about can seem like impossible tasks. Despite the many challenges, though, it is possible to develop an amicable working relationship with your ex for the sake of your children.

Making co-parenting work

The key to successful co-parenting is to separate the personal relationship with your ex from the co-parenting relationship. It may be helpful to start thinking of your relationship with your ex as a completely new one—one that is entirely about the well-being of your children, and not about either of you. Your marriage may be over, but your family is not; doing what is best for your kids is your most important priority. The first step to being a mature, responsible co-parent is to always put your children’s needs ahead of your own.

Benefits for your children

Through your co-parenting partnership, your kids should recognize that they are more important than the conflict that ended your marriage—and understand that your love for them will prevail despite changing circumstances. Kids whose divorced parents have a cooperative relationship:

  • Feel secure. When confident of the love of both parents, kids adjust more quickly and easily to divorce and new living situations, and have better self-esteem.
  • Benefit from consistency. Co-parenting fosters similar rules, discipline, and rewards between households, so children know what to expect, and what’s expected of them.
  • Better understand problem solving. Children who see their parents continuing to work together are more likely to learn how to effectively and peacefully solve problems themselves.
  • Have a healthy example to follow. By cooperating with the other parent, you are establishing a life pattern your children can carry into the future to build and maintain stronger relationships.
  • Are mentally and emotionally healthier. Children exposed to conflict between co-parents are more likely to develop issues such as depression, anxiety, or ADHD.

Credit: Co-parenting Tips

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7 thoughts on “Co-Parenting Tips for Divorced Parents-Making Joint Custody Work After a Divorce

  1. Holding on to hate is something I”ve been trying to get over for a long time..one of those is dead and I still can”t get over my resentment (I guess that is what it comes down to rather than actual real hate)another is very much alive and has been an annoyance for years.both of these are family so it makes it hard..I keep trying to let go of my resentment but it keeps coming back cheap

  2. Its easy to get offended by others and then build up anger and resentment. We have to forgive others and carry on with our life, so here are 15 quotes to start your week on the right note: 1. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Martin Luther King, Jr. 3. An eye for an eye, and the whole world would be blind. Kahlil Gibran 5. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Mahamata Ghandi 7. We think that forgiveness is weakness, but its absolutely not; it takes a very strong person to forgive. T.D. Jakes 9. It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. William Blake 11. Forgiveness is empowering for the forgiver. Years of resentment, frustration, and pain are set free Dana Arcuri 13. I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice. Abraham Lincoln 15. Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different. Oprah Winfrey Your bonus quote this week: buy cialis

  3. Its easy to get offended by others and then build up anger and resentment. We have to forgive others and carry on with our life, so here are 15 quotes to start your week on the right note: 1. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Martin Luther King, Jr. 3. An eye for an eye, and the whole world would be blind. Kahlil Gibran 5. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Mahamata Ghandi 7. We think that forgiveness is weakness, but its absolutely not; it takes a very strong person to forgive. T.D. Jakes 9. It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. William Blake 11. Forgiveness is empowering for the forgiver. Years of resentment, frustration, and pain are set free Dana Arcuri 13. I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice. Abraham Lincoln 15. Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different. Oprah Winfrey Your bonus quote this week:

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